Skip to content
← Cultural Coins
Financial Wellness & Behavior

Parenting, Power & Paychecks: The Hidden Cost of Doing It All

Can working moms and money ever really balance out? In this Cultural Coins episode, part two of Money Mamas Unfiltered, CHIP’s Eugenie George and Afiya Lahens get honest about motherhood, careers and the price of trying to do it all. They talk about the “lean in” promise, the hidden cost of caregiving, the double standard between moms and dads, and why the trad wife trend on social media often isn’t what it seems.

Key takeaways

  • “Having it all” often depends on income and support most families don’t have.
  • Caregiving is real work with a real cost, even when it isn’t paid.
  • Moms and dads still face different expectations at work and at home.
  • Many “stay-at-home” influencers are running businesses behind the camera.
  • The time value of money can help you decide what’s worth paying someone else to do.

Can you really lean in and have it all?

Eugenie and Afia start with Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, the book that told a generation of women they could have a big career and a family at the same time. Eugenie bought into it at first. Then she became a parent. People are having kids later, so grandparents are often too old to help with childcare. And fully leaning in, she points out, takes a certain level of income.

Afia was a young single mom when the book came out. None of her peers had kids yet, and she was trying to be a good parent while figuring out her career. To her, the message felt out of reach. It raises a bigger question: why does society still expect mothers to do it all, and what does that do to their finances?

Caregiving is work, even when it’s unpaid

Eugenie argues that parenting is a form of labor. When you go home from work, you start a second job. If you pay for childcare, it’s a monthly bill. If you do it yourself, the cost shows up as time you can’t spend earning. Some countries pay families when they have children. In the U.S., that work is mostly invisible.

Afia adds that some of the pressure comes from inside. The “super mom” label sounds like praise, but it sets an expectation to do everything, and do it well, all the time. Over time she learned that trying to meet that standard leads to burnout.

The mom vs. dad double standard

Eugenie shares a story from her partner, who got a promotion each time he had a child. That wasn’t her experience. Traditionally, men were seen as the breadwinners while moms handled the kids and the house. Afia notes that younger dads are more hands-on, and many couples now share the load. Still, the old standard hangs on: when a mom pushes for a promotion, people often assume she’s sacrificing her family. Dads rarely hear that.

Trad wives, mom influencers and the money behind them

Social media is full of moms who look like they stay home full time, with perfect bento lunches and spotless fridges. Eugenie points out that many of them are earning money from that content. Filming, styling and posting takes hours, and that’s a job. So why not be honest that staying home and earning an income can go together?

Afia sees the pressure firsthand. Her teenage daughter shows her these videos and asks why their lunches don’t look like that. It can make parents feel guilty. Eugenie’s reminder: most of these creators are young, and you rarely see what their lives look like at 40 or 50.

Using the time value of money at home

In financial planning, the time value of money says a dollar’s worth depends on time. Eugenie applies it to home life: am I giving up my time, my value or my money? Afia realized that friends with spotless houses weren’t doing it all themselves. They had decided it was worth paying for help. That had never occurred to her as something she could budget for.

That’s the shift this episode invites. Instead of judging yourself against a standard nobody can meet, look at where your time is going and what it’s worth. Then build a plan that supports the life you have, not the one on your feed. A financial team can help you weigh childcare, career moves and the cost of extra help.

This is part two of Money Mamas Unfiltered. Catch part one, Moms + Money: Financial Planning, and watch more Cultural Coins episodes.

This article is for education only and isn’t financial advice. Talk with a qualified professional about your situation before making decisions.

Know someone who needs this?

Share with a friendFacebookLinkedIn

Your next step